I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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