im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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