I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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