she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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