JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
