Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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