We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
