her vagine was all disorganized.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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