pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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