Whoa Z and x make the same sound
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
