I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
