There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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