we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
