that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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