I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .