I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday