do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now