I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar