Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
