I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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