Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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