I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize