pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
