is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize