Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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