scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
