Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
