Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
