OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
