he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
