I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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