If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
