I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
