you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
home. puking in laundry basket.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
