help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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