I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
