finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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