White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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