are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
