You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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