Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
