we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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