Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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