Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
