I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
