You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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