It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
