More tranny stories later!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just tell him i said nine months
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
