plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
