Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
