I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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