They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
