I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
