what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
