WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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