You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Boobs are out for the taking
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
