So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
