so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
