party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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