drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
