i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
