Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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