am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
