That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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