It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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