I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
